It always starts as Harmless
by Peggi J. Crawford
Summary: He didn’t think it would end up going that far. It was supposed to be just a way around the anger and emotional pain. But now he’d gone to far. It always starts as harmless. . .
1. Chapter 1

Peggi-I was in a really bad mood when I started this and the summary was vague but it will make more sense after this chapter. I don't own Harry Potter and if I did then it would be re-named Draco Malfoy and all bleached-blond arrogant-jerks would be worshiped in the show. Read the fic and review or else I will send He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named after you!

Summary: He didn't think it would end up going that far. It was supposed to be just a way around the anger and emotional pain. But now he'd gone to far. It always starts as harmless. . .

**IT ALWAYS STARTS AS 'HARMLESS'**

It took a while for Draco to talk his way out of _this _one. His father was more than amused at the fact that he'd gotten into a fight with Harry Potter, and was more angry at the fact that Draco had lost. Draco had convinced his friends, followers, and even himself that Harry had cheated, but the truth was, he simply. . .lost. But being humiliated was most likely the least of his worries now. He had been suspended from Hogwarts! _This_ was something his father wasn't pleased with, but it beat the other option of expulsion, which Draco had found his way out of by lying. Draco almost slammed the door to his room as he arrived home, his father and mother arguing about the whole situation.

Draco was so frustrated. His father was so successful, had a perfect life, money, everything he wanted, he had. Draco could _never_ be as perfect as his father. No matter how hard he tried, and believe me, he tried. Draco thought that maybe by beating Harry Potter at. . ._SOMETHING_, he would finally gain his father's approval. What a terrible idea _that_ was!

Ever since Draco could remember, his mother and he had been abused both with violence and words by his father, and Hogwarts was like an escape for him, but now he had an entire month of his father's wrath to deal with. This was all Potter's fault! Him with his stupid friends and everyone loving him just because of that ugly mark on his forehead!!! Just because of a scar, everyone loved him!

Draco winced as he heard a loud slamming noise, and knew that his father had just smashed something, most likely a chair, against the wall downstairs.

"IF I DON'T, THEN HE WON'T EVER LEARN! WHY CAN'T YOU SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT?! ARE YOU REALLY _THAT_ MUCH OF AN IDIOT?!" Lucius screamed at his wife.

Draco realized that if his mother didn't save him, he'd be in for the beating of his life.

After about an hour, a door slammed, and Draco went to the window to see a car pull away, his mother standing in the driveway, crying, as she watched her husband leave, most likely to go drink for a while and come back to. . .oh merlin only knows what he would do to Draco and/or his mother.

Draco glared out the window and forced tears back as he walked towards the bathroom. He opened up the medicine cabinet and pulled out a simple shaving razor and unscrewed it, pulling the blade out of it, and throwing the rest away. He re-entered his bedroom and sat down on the bed. This should be simple. . .he'd seen one of his older sister's arms before, and heard stories from her about this, and figured it couldn't be all that hard. He held the razor tightly in his hand and slowly dragged it across his arm at a slight angle, watching as a line trailed behind it, blood slowly flowing out of his arm.

His sister was right. The hurt and fear seemed to leave him, to flow out with the blood. He'd never considered becoming a cutter before, but since his life was already miserable, why not? He only managed two cuts, and couldn't make a third because it did hurt more than he'd thought, and he was afraid of loosing too much blood. He wasn't sure how much his body could manage loosing. So he hid the blade in his desk drawer and wrapped a thin cloth over his arm and fell asleep, not really worrying about the cuts. He didn't do anything wrong, right? Just a few small cuts. . .it was completely harmless!

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**

Peggi-Firstly, no this is NOT a one-shot, and I don't know if this has been done cuz I don't read HP fics at unless they're a friend's but I _think_ this is original. Secondly, I want to point out to people CUTTING IS _NOT_ COOL OKAY?! I AM NOT TRYING TO INFLUENCE YOU INTO THINKING THAT IT DOES ANYTHING OTHER THAN KILL YOU OFF SLOWLY!!!. . .okay, now time for a rant.

Rant: I started cutting at about the age of 9 and now I'm 17. I always thought it was harmless, just a way to relieve anger, but from the start of this year until now, I've had 1 friend die from cutting, 2 get sent to a mental institution, and 1 who had to move away because her mom thought it was the fault of her friends that she was cutting. It only kills you off slowly. You think that it's okay to just do it a little, and then it progresses. Do something productive instead. . .like a stress pillow. Stab it all you want. And since I'm writing this mostly for a friend of mine, I'd like to point out that the pillow idea was HERS!!! And another thing, if anyone wants to talk to me, feel free to email me. I'm a great listener, wonderful with advice (if you want to know the right thing to do. I give honest answers, sometimes not what you want to hear) and I talk in confidence (don't tell ppl what we talked about)

End rant!!! So, review and I'll update okies?


	2. Chapter 2

Peggi-Took me all of almost 2 years to update, but here it is! This chapter isn't really as angsty as the first, but there will be much more drama and angst to come, as this would not be much of a fic if it didn't live up to its genres. I think most of the chapters will be really short, but hopefully it won't take me as long to update from now on. Enjoy, and slip me reviews please!

**CHAPTER TWO**

Draco had slept for quite some time but wasn't sure exactly how long it had been when he heard a car pull up. He sat up groggily and rubbed sleep from his eyes, forcing himself out of bed and praying that his father was still gone. To his dismay his father was home. Draco's heart dropped when he realized that his father was completely drunk, but he was a bit encouraged when he saw a second person step out of the car. His father often brought home women which was a big distraction from his unhappy family, and if she was really good in bed, the chances of a beating that night were slim to none.

As the pair was walking to wards the front door, the girl grabbed her stomach and looked very sick.

'Please don't get sick. Don't ruin this.' Draco prayed silently to himself.

The girl seemed to recover quickly and he heard the door open and close. He quickly jumped into his bed, heart pounding in his chest, and he heard a single pair of footsteps approaching his room. Draco bit his bottom lip and tugged tightly on the cloth he'd tied around his arm, praying that his father would pass by his room. The door slowly squeaked its way open and Draco held his breath for a few seconds.

"Draco, dear?" it was his mother, "your father has brought home a guest to entertain, keep your lights off for the night and don't make too much noise and you should be just fine for tonight."

Draco didn't respond because he knew no matter what he said would come out as only a whimper. He didn't hear his mother walk away but instead walk to wards him.

"Don't worry, baby. One day things will be better for us all," she kissed him on the forehead and walked out, closing the door behind her.

The sounds of his father talking and a strange woman could be heard from across the house and Draco cried into his pillow. How could things possibly get better? Could they even get worse?

He didn't know how he managed to do it, but Draco eventually fell asleep and slept late into the afternoon the next day. When he woke up, the sun was shining brightly into his room. He sat up in his bed, throwing the covers off of his body, and realized that his arm had bled a bit on his covers the night before. He made his bed quickly and grabbed a long sleeved shirt to put on. He found a pair of pants and decided to put them on as well.

Once he was dressed he decided he should find something to eat, but he didn't dare leave his room without first making sure that his father was not home, or if he was, at least wasn't in the kitchen area. The car wasn't in the driveway, and so Draco sighed, relieved. His mother had her own car, so it would have been his father who had taken it out.

Draco went into the bathroom to fix himself up a bit before he went to fix something to eat. Once he was in the kitchen he realized his mother was awake. Her back was facing him and she was sipping coffee, still in her robe. He could see a new bruise on her arm and it filled him with both anger and sorrow.

"Mom?" he called out, his voice not as strong as it normally was, and so he cleared his throat before finishing, "I'm fixing breakfast. Would you like something?"

His mother turned to him and smiled warmly, "No, dear. Fix whatever you'd like. Your father went into town to take his lady friend home, so you have time if you would like a warm breakfast. There is cereal, though."

Draco put on a fake smile and opened up the refrigerator and decided to make scrambled eggs. Potter and his friends would laugh if they could see him now. Waiting on himself instead of having people to order around! He must've looked ridiculous, standing at a stove, not even using magic to perform his daily tasks, but his mother did not approve of his magic use for daily activities. She always felt that if you can do something without magic then you should, and save your wand for times when it is needed.

Draco normally wouldn't listen to such silly things, but he loved his mother _very_ dearly, and would not disobey her. Draco finished his cooking and then took his plate to the table and tried eating. He suddenly felt less hungry than he had before when he noticed his mother's face. She apparently had more than just the bruise he'd noticed before. Three more bruises were on her face and another on her neck. This bothered him more than anything; to see his mother battered like that.

"I'm going to finish this in my room," Draco informed his mother, leaving the room with his breakfast.

Once he was in his room, he locked his door, hoping that no one would bother him, and he sat his plate down on his desk. He pulled out a quill and a piece of parchment and sat down to write a letter to his friends from Slytherin. By the time he was done with his letter, he didn't even have time to send it before he heard his father's car pull up and suddenly he realized that he was going to pay for what he had done and most likely pay for not being punished the night before.

**END OF CHAPTER TWO**


End file.
